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Green Grass Garden Snakes!!! 

If you always thought those little green garden snakes were O.K.,
read on:

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not
rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants, and
during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a
little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and
when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under
the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to
look for it.

About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him in the butt.
He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted. His wife thought
he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants
rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him
out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the
sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions,
where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing her laying there
passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out
and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury
required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had
been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a
small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all,
when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a
little green snake.

They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch. One of
the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and
hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa.

The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb
broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to
beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top
of the family dog, who startled, jumped up and raced out into the
street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into
the parked police car and set it on fire.

Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire
house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the
arriving fire truck had started raising his ladder as they were
halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten square city block area.

Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
was rebuilt, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their
world.

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if
she thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.
 

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Since September 2, 2002